Divorce Coaching

Divorce coaching is a goal-oriented, flexible process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through the turmoil of a divorce. You can better understand your emotions and behavior with divorce coaching, which will help you make the best decisions for the future. A divorce coach is a certified specialist who can also help you identify your interests, concerns, and needs. 

These professionals are trained to understand the intricacies and challenges of the divorce process. They will be guide you through the emotional, mental, and financial effects of the divorce on you and your children. You can choose from different types of divorce coaches based on their different professional backgrounds. 

For instance, many people consult with divorce coaches that are also mental health professionals, financial planners, mediators, or collaborative divorce experts, and have extensive experience dealing with divorcing clients. 

Generally, therapists and counselors are often only focused on relationship patterns. However, a divorce coach is concerned with where you think you are and what you need to do. It is the divorce coach’s job to help you take the productive leap from looking at the divorce from an emotional perspective to seeing it as a business deal. 

What Does a Divorce Coach Do?

1. Help You Identify and Achieve Your Life Goals

One of the primary things a divorce coach does is to help their clients clarify their divorce goals. It can be easy to lose track of your end goals as you are shepherded through the divorce process. The first step is to identify your goals in a peaceful and safe environment. Your divorce coach will work with you to establish a plan for achieving your individual success benchmarks.

These are a few common questions that divorce coaches ask:

• What do you want to achieve?
• Where do you see yourself in the next few months?
• What do you want for yourself personally?
• How do you want your children’s lives to be?
• What are the major obstacles in your path from achieving your best self?

Together, you and your divorce coach will be answering these questions by outlining a plan of action to achieve the goals most important to you. 

2. Act as a Neutral Party to Let the Focus Remain on You

The divorce coach will act as a sounding board for your problems, ideas, and concerns. You can share those feelings and thoughts with the coach that cannot be shared with anyone else. Divorce coaching provides neutral and impartial grounds where you can share your emotions without the fear of being judged or not heard. 

Even if the beginning of the session is spent on venting and voicing your frustration, you can be happy that the conversation will strictly remain between you and the coach. You will also find that you can think more clearly after some venting and move on to discussing practical solutions for your troubles instead of getting sucked into the vortex of negative feelings and thoughts. 

While there may be co-workers and friends that may have a strong understanding of your situation, you may not find someone that is truly impartial and a good listener. Your loved ones may mean well, but they would eventually start to share their own experiences or try to get you to do something they would do if they were in your situation. When you speak with a divorce coach, the spotlight is on you. 

3. Help You Navigate Tough Decisions by Acting as a Thinking Partner

Wherever you are in the divorce process, it is highly likely that there are a lot of time-sensitive decisions that need to be made. These are a few decisions that you may need to make:

• When and how to tell the children
• Whether to get a mediator, DIY collaborative divorce, or an adversarial litigation
• How to ensure the least impact on your children
• Creating a co-parenting plan
• Financial decisions
• Establishing effective communication with your ex
• How to get through tough moments such as holidays and vacations
• How to create 2 homes where your children are welcomed and feel safe

These decisions can be overwhelming and frightening if you think of them without first clearing your mind. Your divorce coach can be an effective thinking partner so that you don’t necessarily need to make the decisions all on your own. Divorce is an emotionally draining process and you should not have to do it all on your own. 

Most divorce attorneys and specialists hyperfocus on the financial and legal aspects. However, divorces are almost always accompanied with intense feelings which can be difficult to manage and can be emotionally draining. These emotions and feelings can impair your ability to act rationally and think.

Divorce coach will not give you their personal advice or opinion. Instead, they will work with you to ensure you don’t feel alone while making the decisions. They will act as a thinking partner and use their expansive experience and training to think with you while you embark on the transition from being divorce plagued to divorce recovered. 

4. Be Honest with You While Keeping You Accountable

Divorce coaching plays an important role in keeping you accountable for your actions and thoughts in addition to addressing the most pressing issues and creating a coping plan. An experienced divorce coach will always ask you about your current plans and the progress made towards achieving your goals. 

Your divorce coach will never talk down to you or make you feel lesser about not taking action. They will instead hold you to your statements and remind you why it is important to take timely actions. They will be straight with you and help you accept the truth. 

Truth can be difficult to hear, but if it is important, you will definitely hear about it from your divorce coach. Skilled divorce coaches don’t criticize or judge, but call out what they see. This input can be highly productive.

5. Get You Connected with the Right Resources

Divorces are messy and navigating them can be complicated and challenging, even in a best-case scenario. You need to find the right resources that help you manage the legal and financial aspects. It can be draining or challenging to manage the legal, financial, and emotional aspects of divorce. This is not something you should do alone. 

While a competent divorce coach will NOT provide you with legal or financial advice, they can connect you with the various resources in their arsenal, such as:

• Divorce attorneys
• Financial advisors
• Other specialists

Divorce coaches have solid relationships with the best professionals in the industry and will know when to call in the right expert to help you. 

6. Help You Navigate the Healing and Transition Process

The job of a divorce coach doesn’t end when the divorce is finalized or the papers signed. In fact, this is when the real job of a divorce attorney begins. Your divorce coach will stay with you for ensuring a smooth transition. They will traverse the path with you and ensure your well-being needs are taken care of. 

The divorce coach will continuously work with you towards problem-solving. For instance, they will ask poignant questions to understand whether the co-parenting plan you made with your ex-spouse is delivering the results you hoped to achieve. There is no denying the fact that life following divorce can be daunting. 

It can be particularly difficult to live on your own after spending years with your partner. It may be easy to get down on yourself and wallow in self-pity or guilt. This is never a good feeling to live with. Your divorce coach will help you identify where you are presently in your life and what you want to be in the future. These professionals will help you face the numerous challenges you come across. 

Sooner or later, you will probably begin dating again. This is accompanied by a whole host of additional problems. For instance, you would need to tell your children that you are seeing someone new. You can count on the divorce coach to have your back. They will provide continued guidance and support that meets your present needs and helps you achieve all future goals. 

7. Help You Deal with Parenting Changes

The hardest part of going through a divorce is inarguably parenting and co-parenting. Different challenges and uncertainties are brought to the forefront with each stage of the divorce process. Your divorce coach will help you establish a co-parenting plan and improve on it continually. They help co-parents develop non-judgmental partnerships. 

Divorce coaches provide unbiased viewpoints that support the co-parents. They act as the voice of reason, especially when emotions are raw. Having a trained counselor on your side can make it easier to manage the various challenges of a divorce. Divorce coaches can help you adapt to the stress of divorce instead of getting burdened by it. 

You will find it less taxing to talk to the other parent when you have a divorce counselor on your side. You will be in a better position to handle complex conversations and develop emotional resilience to remain calm in tough situations. Divorce coaches play an important role in helping patients set and manage expectations by educating them continuously about the divorce process. This includes:

• Discussing different options for dissolving a marriage
• Discussing the most efficient ways of completing required documentation
• Creating a creative parenting time plan that meets the interests of the family and needs of the children

Divorce coaches can mentally prepare parents during this nonjudgmental partnership to brace the waves of emotion that will accompany complex discussions surrounding distribution of assets and co-parenting. 

Get Ready to Restore Your Life with a Divorce Coach

It can be difficult for parents to envision what they want from their lives after the divorce. This can make it even harder to determine how to achieve goals. Your divorce coach can help you create a goal-oriented, forward-looking step-by-step process to put you on the right path to where you want to be. This exercise will essentially form the foundation of bridging the gap between where you find yourself to be after the divorce and where you want to be. 

It’s critical to understand that your divorce coach will help you organize the records and papers you need for the divorce. Based on this, this is not just for documentation purposes. Physical organization paves the way for emotional organization and clarity. This is a necessary endeavor following your divorce. This can assist you in identifying and avoiding common problems, such as:

• Letting your emotions get the better of you
• Short sightedness
• Lacking compromise
• Seeing only a piece of the puzzle
• Allowing your loved ones to have control over your life
• Desire for revenge
• Ignoring the children’s best interests

Divorce is a complex process from an emotional and logistical standpoint. Your coach can act as a vital tool in reducing additional unnecessary complications. They will also encourage you to redefine and discover your personal goals along with the strategies required to achieve them following the divorce. 

Divorce Coach Helps in Effective Communication

If you are co-parenting with your ex-spouse, you need to come to a place where you can effectively communicate with them. Parents can have an easier time divorcing each other and creating mutually acceptable co-parenting plans by having healthy conversations. Divorce coaches can help parents have fruitful negotiations and discussions where no one’s needs get ignored. 

Your divorce coach can teach you to make intentional decisions after role-playing conscious thought. Coaches can also help you with tips to tell your children about the eventual family changes. Divorce coaches work one step at a time to turn their clients from looking at the emotional side of divorce to seeing the business side of things.  

Many parents find a gap between where they are and where they want to be in their life as well as their children’s lives. The guidance of a divorce coach can help you work through your fears and overcome the obstacles present in your path of developing a strategic roadmap for your divorce. Your divorce coach will help you develop the skills needed for effectively communicating and negotiating your needs, desires, and wants.

They will help you prepare for the process and teach tips to not get hijacked by your negative thoughts or emotions. The ultimate goal of working with a divorce coach is to help divorcing parents navigate the process efficiently, create a life vision based on specific intentions, and to show up as their best selves.