Changing Priorities In Divorce After Long-Term Marriages

When considering divorce after a decade, two decades, or even three decades of marriage, people often wonder how priorities may shift. Experienced divorce mediators suggest that while the timing itself doesn’t necessarily make the process easier or harder, the priorities may indeed differ depending on the stage of the marriage.

Divorce in the First Decade

In divorces that occur within the first ten years of marriage, the focus tends to revolve around child custody. It’s essential for couples to prioritize the best interests of their young children during this stage. With the guidance of a trusted child custody mediator, they can work together to establish a custody arrangement that suits their family’s needs. Some key considerations at this stage may include:

• Daily schedules after the divorce. Shared childcare arrangements, such as hiring a nanny together.
• Determining which parent will handle responsibilities like driving the child to activities.
• Planning for vacations and holidays with the child.

Financial aspects related to the child’s well-being should also be taken into account. A divorce mediator can assist in addressing and resolving issues such as determining the amount and duration of child support payments to the custodial parent.

Divorce in the Second Decade

In divorces occurring after two decades of marriage, while a parenting plan may still be necessary if the children are minors, the focus often shifts towards their living expenses, college tuition, and financial security. As the length of the marriage affects spousal support, it becomes an important issue to address with the help of an experienced alimony mediation expert.

The mediator can help both parties recognize whether the lower-earning spouse made sacrifices in their career for the sake of the family, leading to increased financial dependence on the higher-earning partner. With that said, at the 20-year mark, the assets and debts involved are typically higher stakes. A divorce mediator can facilitate a fair distribution of marital property to ensure post-divorce financial security for both spouses.

Divorce in the Third Decade

Divorce discussions after three decades of marriage often center around retirement issues. Some individuals may need to postpone retirement to fulfill spousal support obligations or rebuild retirement funds after their division as marital assets in the divorce.

Dividing retirement funds, the marital home, vehicles, life insurance policies, business assets, and other properties becomes more complex in divorces after 30 years. A mediator specializing in high net worth divorce can assist both spouses in reaching a fair and efficient resolution of these intricate matters.